BelieveDo (ch 23) – Choose to Live Differently

…adapted from Believe. Do. And Follow Through!

Chapter 23

Do words cause us to act, or is it the nuances that surround them?  Do they develop from nothingness, on their own, or are they caused in our minds by the greatness of the Universe and its purposes?  We are trapped in between the greatness that exists and the mediocrity that tries so strongly to drag us down with it.

We can step above those surroundings and draw unto the purposes that wait for us to awaken and realize their existence.  By our words, we propose we are aware of supreme ideas that control the Universe, but our actions sometimes reveal otherwise.  We squabble for bits of faded glory, when we could be reaching and living toward the wholeness and grandeur that awaits.

If we would simply look beyond the immediate – beyond the tangible – we would lay hold of intangible, yet meaningful parts of life, construct them, and make them tangible.    It is possible to live in that manner, yet so few choose to do so.

Those who choose to live differently – to go down that path of overcoming – will not have many companions during the venture.  Yet, those who are on the same path are also of the same character and stature.  So, if you go, you will find good company.

Carefully consider the options, and then purposefully choose which way you want to live.  However, if you continue to hesitate and refuse to choose, you will still have chosen.   Avoidance doesn’t negate the existence of the option – it only dictates a singular route that you may dislike.

Follow through on what you start.  Finish well.  A lot of people start things that they don’t finish.  Not finishing things can lead to a frustrating set of days, which could turn into a frustrating life.

We’ve all seen people who just seem to be grumpy all the time.  Don’t be like them.  Follow through on what you start.  In the days that stretch out before you, you will find the purpose you were meant to live, if you don’t already know what it is.

Live differently.

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Find out more about Marty and get his books here

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BelieveDo (ch 7) – Are You Where You Want to Be?

[The following is an excerpt from the motivational book, Believe. Do. And Follow Through!, that I co-wrote with Isaiah Whittaker]

Chapter 7

Are you where you want to be?

Wow! What a topic to think about!  This one topic can cause so much inner turmoil inside of the average person.  To truly answer the above question, you have to be really honest with yourself.

Have you reached a state of self-fulfillment, or are you just getting by from week-to-week, telling yourself, “things are going to get better”?

For example –
“Most people I know are living in the things-will-get-better state.  I found myself there, once in my life, until I took a painful journey of dealing with reality.

The first thing I had to do was identify my current state.  I was not happy with myself or my marriage.  As much as I wanted to fix my marriage and keep it together, my spouse did not…

I had finally woken up from a 13-year fantasy to face reality.  In addition to my marriage situation, I was not getting things in life accomplished the way I expected them to be accomplished.  I was floundering in acceptance of my situations.

What happened next was a true miracle, in my eyes.  My counselor, Julie Ramsey at the time, asked me a question that unlocked everything that was holding me back.  It was like someone had lifted a 100-pound weight off my chest!

After 13 years of my current situation, I could finally see all aspects of my relationship.  It was like I was totally naked to the truth.  The sad part of this was I realized that I was living a lie, and I was nowhere near where I wanted to be, in life.

The question she posed to me was, “You do realize you can’t make somebody happy if they’re not happy with themselves, right?”  

I was stunned! How could this be true?  That was too easy of a revelation of the simple truth.  How could I have not realized this before now?   My mind and heart were racing as I tried to make peace with this bit of reality.  What this meant to me was that I needed to face my situation without any excuses.  

For the first time in my life, I was about to greet reality face-to-face.  On that very day, I made up my mind that my life needed to change.  I needed to take the steps toward making this change.  

…talk about a sobering reality to deal with…  I had to face someone who had been a major part of my life and tell her that my life was about to change – that she was a part of this change.  At this point, I had to ignore everything but the facts and deal with the situation, or this change could never take place.

I sat down and defined my goals.  I had to do some research and figure out what it was going to take to make them happen.  A painful piece of the change meant getting a divorce and starting over.  It meant maybe living apart from my sons.  It meant going back to school for more education.  It meant sacrificing my weekends in the name of making me a better person.  Was I really up for this challenge?  Could I really pull this off?  I must be crazy to think I could actually get where I wanted to be in life.

The more I thought about the situation, the more it made sense to me.  I had to do this to be a better person, to be a better father, and to achieve the rest of my goals.  I can tell that you the road was tough, and it was an emotional journey I do not wish upon anyone – but it needed to happen.  Your situation might not be as drastic as mine, but it will still take being honest with yourself and answering the question in this chapter’s title (question) – without any reserve.”
-Isaiah

Are you where you want to be?